Does my husband sound like he is too harsh with our son?

No he's just being a dad. He's being consistent, and that's what kids need. He didn't go over the line at all. If he had ed him at the dinner, then yes, over the line, but he took him home and did it...no problem. My mom has a friend who doesn't do that with their kids and they are out of control, using their parents guilt as their weapon. (I refuse to babysit for them)